I suddenly really want to go see The Decemberists when they come to Tulsa. It's a horrible idea for me to go, because the weekend before that is empires, and the night before I will be getting very, very drunk at a friend's house to mourn celebrate my birthday. I'm assuming I should do, like, homework, at some point that weekend.

I still wanna go.

I'm through The Monster at the End of This Book, on my season four SPN rewatch. I've got to say, I really, really... Look, it's got it's flaws, ok, it does. But I love this fucking show.

OMG I AM NEVER GOING TO FINISH THIS STUPID HOMEWORK. ::flails::

So, in the spirit of, IDK, if I can't see it, it can't see me, or something: anyone going to Cobra in Dallas on Halloween? I... don't know who is actually headlining that, but it's Cobras, and I want to see them.

Also, for some reason, every time I try to write Spencer/Brendon I either can't finish it, or it turns out to be completely different from what I actual want to write. I have no idea what is up with that, but it's not making me happy.

This last weekend (which, combined with a semi-hellish first full week of classes, I have not entirely recovered from) I:

-Remembered why I love Fall Out Boy
-Fell in love with Chicago
-Fell out of like with a boy
-Earned a whole new respect for Blink-182
-Caught at least 2 dozen dudebros spend an hour and a half bashing FOB, then push and shove and sing along to every word once they got on stage.
-Spent entirely too much money
-Seriously, fell so in love with Chicago

In all flat out statement of honesty, I'm a concert junkie. I'm an addict. There is nothing better than feeling the bass vibrate through you, being in a crowd with thousands of other people singing along at the top of their lungs, the drums pounding in the soles of your feet and the pit of your stomach. If I could do anything in the world and money was no object, I'd be at those things every day. I could never get enough of it, never.

I want to go back to Chicago and never leave--at least until winter comes along, that might totally change my mind.

(+) Have tickets for Chicago!
(---) But they are shitty seats, and not pit.
(+) At least I can, like, leave and get something to drink between sets?
(+) And I did get pit in Dallas, I just now have to go for sure. Hopefully not by myself though.
(-) Today my 19 y/o cousin is marrying his 17 y/o girlfriend. Outside. And, naturally, it is supposed to storm.
(+) I wasn't gonna go anyway, because I canceled one set of plans, they canceled the wedding, I made other plans, and then they said, the wedding was back on. Haha, fool me once.
(--) I've got a lot of math homework to do, my allergies are kicking my ass, and I kind of just want to crawl under the covers for the rest of the day.
(-) Seriously, such shitty seats. Like, not even level 1 seats. Level two. And it was still $136.

1) OCK pre-sale tickets for Dallas go up tomorrow, and I am completely and totally torn about what I should do. Just buy one ticket and hope for the best? Buy two and pray I can get someone to pick up the other one? Be an adult and not go to a concert instead of class?

2) Modest Mouse - Paper Thin Walls. Cause I love this song so much I bought the damn CD again, when the first copy was ruined/lost.

3) I told my friend that if she'd go with me to Chicago I'd buy her ticket. I didn't realize at the time that they were going to be 70 bucks before fees. ::sighs:: Still worth it, for those three bands together, but JFC. I'm hoping she helps pay for gas. And she did say she'd help with the hotel. Still, again, JFC.

4) And she's, like, not a fangirl. Which hurts me, really. Like, mostly knows FOB from my ink.

5) Every time I hear the line "keeps my heart, heart beating tonight" I hear, instead, "keeps my heart, heart Bden tonight." And I giggle. Every. Time.

6) I finally got my hands on a copy of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies! And... am having a hard time reading it, because I keep being horrified by all the places where I think it should have a comma and it does not.

7) Believe it or not, I'm kinda more critical of actual books than fanfiction. You know, like, sometimes. When it's a book I've been really excited to read. The whole thing kind of saddens me, cause, you know, ZOMBIES.

8) I have, however, find what got to be kind of an epic level of love for Christopher Moore books. Well, ok, I've read two. But for real, love! They are funny, and witty, and different, and awesome.

Went to the Forgive Durden show last night and felt so, so bad for the bands because there was like, no one there, except for some insanely enthusiastic wanna dudebros and, like a dozen other people who spent the majority of the opening acts too busy laughing at them to pay much attention to anything else.

Like, for real, the lead singer of You, Me and Everyone We Know was about half an inch from full out making out with one of them a couple of times.

But there was good company and good music and that makes for good times always.

Plus, there was bonus baby!Brendon in one of the bands. We all kept looking at him and going, "awww." I'm not sure he knew what to think of it, but, you know, baby!Brendon! What were we supposed to do?

Then--entirely too early for my liking--this morning we get the call to head to the hospital. I have yet another niece. She's very tiny, and has ten tiny fingers, and ten tiny toes. Her big sister is spending the night here, and the only way I've managed to get her to sit still for 20 minutes was to watch Family Guy with her. Oops.

HOLY SHIT IF THIS IS FOR REAL I MIGHT DIE. IF IT'S NOT FOR REAL I MIGHT.

BLINK! PANIC! FOB! IT'S LIKE HEAVEN IN A CONCERT.

Except the tour dates closest to me are during school days and I for real and for true could not give less of a fuck. I am going, going, going.

I want St. Louis, Kansas City & Dallas at the very least. I will miss school, I don't even care. Do you think I could get a doctors note? Since clearly I am sick?

Who else is going? To what shows? WILL YOU LET ME GO WITH YOU BECAUSE EVERYONE I KNOW IN RL IS LAME AND FAILS TO UNDERSTAND MY GLEE.

OMG. BRB, DYING. ECSTATIC DOES NOT COVOR OMG.

So, I need like, a 12 step program for concerts. Like and AA for Live Music Addicts.

I'm not saying I'd go, really, I just like to know that I have the option.

Which pretty much translates to OMG FOB I WANT TO WATCH YOU LIVE FOREVER.

Seriously, it's been over a week now, but I kind of don't have the words even a little bit at all. I love sitting my ass in line and meeting other people who love these bands as much as I do. I love being in the crowd. I love "detox just to retox" and "I will never believe again" and "hell or glory, I don't want anything in between."

I love music. I love all of it.

I've also got a new layout (angelgazing) thanks to sleepismyfriend, the banner is made with pictures she actually took at our show, and, again, OMG PETE WENTZ YOUR FACE.

I'm doing this stupid thing where I'm kind of in love with life for no good reason.

Everyone should feel like this once in a while.

Motion City Soundtrack to night! At least, fingers crossed and god willing. I've got the tickets in my hand, but I did for The Cab too, and oh, oh how that burned. Which is to say, I'm pretty sure someone who works at this venue is a douche, and I'm scared I'm gonna get canceled on at the last minute, again.

Who said that shit isn't bad for business?

Also it's supposed to snow tonight, which I still say is complete bullshit. Not, bullshit like I think it won't, but bullshit like, what the actual fuck, weather? Did you not get that memo about spring? I'm over this winter shit so hardcore.

I've kind of been listening to This Providence, since they're opening. So far it's managed to make me upset that I missed TAI in OKC because it was on a Tuesday and I had like, no warning to try and con someone into going with me.

My life, so hard.

Hopefully I'll get pictures. Yay pictures!


On another note, in case I haven't mentioned it before: I really, really hate myspace.

I just bought tickets for FOB in Dallas on the 17th!

And I have no one to go with me, omg, but I wantwantwantwanwant.

Dude, FOB.

I just paid an obscene amount for them too, when you consider the fact that I no longer have a job. lol I am so lame. I could not say no.

Today, today... Well, ok, YESTERDAY.

COBRA! COBRA FUCKING STARSHIP IN ALL THEIR COBRAESQUE AWESOMENESS!

Signing! Which was, you know, waiting in line for, oh, 2 hours. And finally telling some boy that I would put money on not being old enough to vote who kept using "Obama supporter" as an insult [Oh, Oklahoma, I would be so disappointed in you if I ever had any kind of expectations from you at all] "yeah, so are we, shut the fuck up." His friends laughed at him and he stopped talking to me. Win! And line, line, line, arguing with security about not being able to sit line, line, OMG COBRA. hahaha It happened like that too, I won't lie.

Ugh THEM. I kind of want to draw little sparkly hearts around their faces, you guys. they were all sweet and not assholes, which is cool, even if it does make me think I should reconsider my world view. lol

Then we HAULED ASS to sit in, oh, ANOTHER LINE for the concert!

The concert rocked. All the bands were good, even if the sound for Sing It Loud was kinda fucked. (Pretty much all of Hit the Lights = complete hotassery, but OMG DRUMMER DUDE. hothothot) Totally got barrier, too, which was further awesomeness, even if it did nearly lead to me needing to be bailed out of jail when some hateful little girl though she could take my spot and I refused to let her. At one point during Forever the Sickest (ugh so good. The keyboardist looks like Peter Krouse though. A small, teenage emo Peter Krouse.) her elbow hit my face.

THIS WAS THE DOWNSIDE. PEOPLE, PEOPLE LISTEN. STOP BEING DOUCHEBAGS AT CONCERTS FOR REAL, OK. IT MAKES ME WANT TO BREAK YOUR NOSE. IT DOES NOT MAKE ME WANT TO LET YOU HAVE MY SPOT. IT MAKES ME WISH YOU WOULD CHOKE IT.

She did not get my spot, despite her pushing.

And then! Like I said before:OMG COBRA. Just. COBRA. ::hands:: I want to go see them all the time forever. They are, like, you know how I've seen Phantom Planet three times this year and had to talk myself out of driving to Dallas for number four? That is Cobra! I... really want to stalk their asses to Texas. Jesus. ::hearts all over::

THEN! I HAUL ASS to the hospital! I have a new niece! She's tinytinytiny and she was born about five minutes after I got there.

And now I'm going to fall in to bed and maybe never leave. OMG SO TIRED.

Points on proof:

1) The kid who works at the Family Dollar looks just like Mikeyway. Like, emo glasses version. I managed to want to do kind of obscene things to him all while being creeped out because he. kept. looking. at. me.

2) One of my very best friends and all around favorite people (who gets me drunk! oh, god, so drunk...) is... No, no, listen, she is trying to set me up. Which, yeah, I get a lot. (Spinsterdom is me at my best. What?) But! No, see, she's trying to set me up with her ex husband. ::hands::

3) I just don't even know what to do with that.

4) We Believe in Barack Obama (he loves you and he loves your mama) Register to vote! Pretend this post is worth something and not just stress induced lack of sleep rambling!

5) The vids going around for the new PatD tour fill my heart so deeply with want. So, so deeply.

6) Am trying to con my brother into buying me tickets to Cobra Starship and Metro Station for my birthday. I argue that I will be spending at least that much on booze for his!

7) Seriously, the world is mocking me. Due to the unhappy work related news I had to cancel the DirecTv install that was supposed to be going on tomorrow. Which, yeah, means I have to wait to watch SPN. Oh, oh, my life is so hard. None of you* understand my pain!

8) And we'll all float on ok / and we'll all float on anyway (Cause sometimes, I just need to hear that it'll be ok. Figured I should share that.)



* Yes, yes, I know. But this is my melodrama. I really don't even know how you all stand it. I might have to learn. I might have to flee the country come November.

Some days, you know, are just kind of made of fail.

So far every day in August falls into that. In like, a completely epic way. It leaves me mostly trying to do something other than stand around and stomp my feet and demand hugs and, like, shiny prizes. Possibly noise makers.

I've pretty much let go of the idea of stalking PatD this fall, or, actually, seeing them at all. Woe and alas, but arena tours at not for me. They are not! I'm still flailing and sulking and acting five about it though.

Being a grown up sucks! Why do I have to pay bills?! Oh, life, how you fail me.

That situation is, I suppose, made slightly better by the fact that I've got The Cab coming to Tulsa Sept. 12th and Cobra Starship Nov. 6th! Cab babies! COBRA FUCKING STARSHIP! I cannot wait. Must find someone to con into going with me to these events. ::wiggles fingers at random friends::

I still wish I was a penguin though. That totally makes sense if you're me, too.

Have some random music! Write me fic for it!

• Hellogoodbye - All of Your Love : This song has been stuck in my head for days and days. Can't be close enough until I'm feeling your heart beat
• Phantom Planet - Always on My Mind : A creepy stalker song that's totally cute! Whatever. I love these guys so much live. I'm trying to talk myself out of driving to Dallas to see them for the 4th time this year.
• Every Avenue - Think of You Later (Empty Room) : Yeah, just found this, and it's like, love at first listen.
• Coheed & Cambria - Wake Up (Acoustic) : Ok, so maybe this list isn't so random. Whatever. I wish I was a penguin.

D-Fest was, uh, awesome.

There was a minor detour of un-awesomeness where I lost my keys. And there's a very long story about that, but I'll shorten it to: after much panic (on my part) the keys were found, locked inside my car, with a note that said, "Found your keys on the ground. Sorry about the locked door." I wish, really, I wish that I could have hugged that person, so, so hard.

It was awesome, people. For real.

Then! OMG Phantom Planet! With the hotassery and the requests that girls not take their shirts off "because I don't want to get arrested, and I can see how old you are." And with, you know, rocking my socks. Seriously, they put on such a good show. It's always nice when the front man knows how to make a crowd interested. "You people in the back who decided to stick around, you're awesome! Not as awesome as these mother fuckers in the front. No offense, but I've known them longer." And just before he climbed down from the stage and climbed on to the rails to the crowd: "Just... please don't steal my keys." It was also awesome, because I was one of those mother fuckers in the front. God, I want to see them play live always. They should be at every concert I go to.

Then! Then was Paramore! And, you know, awesome again. Haley is tiny like a tiny thing but she's got such a big voice. The guitarist on the side of the stage where we were (Tyler?) was good eye candy. The crowd only vaguely made me want to kill people. I was no smashed against the rails until the very end, when some dumb asses decided to try and mosh to Misery Business. And listen, listen, if you're into that shit, well, good for you. Let the rest of us enjoy the fucking show.

But! But!

God, the awesome.

In other news: Packing: 1 Nichole: 0

Um. Hi.

I have lots, bunches, tons that I could say about Warped Tour '08 in Boner Park Bonner Springs, KS, but I think I will sum it up with: OMGOMGOMGTAI! OMG COBRA! COBRA FUCKING STARSHIP OMG OMG GYM CLASS OMG SUNBURN OMG RAIN OMG MERCH OMG WHO DOESN'T TAKE VISA OMG STORM OMG BILL BECKETT!

Wait, no, I lied.

I will also say: seriously, Cobra Starship made me do stupid dance moves. Bill Beckett, in person, is so adorable I kind of want to keep him forever and ever, and I might not even judge him for his taste in girls jeans. I have never in my life tried so hard, while absolutely dripping-water-soaking-wet, to talk people into just going with me and driving for, oh, 8-10 hours straight to see the same thing we just saw.

So many great things. Nate playing with TAI! Beckett and Travie coming on for Bring It! Peace sign up, index down! Beckett being adorable and letting a little girl cut in line. And, you know, being adorable. Why, oh why did I always boggle at the love for him before? Possibly I love his haircut.

Possibly, maybe, there is a chance, that I just fucking love every single ounce of bandom canon.

Also: I can't wait for Warped Tour '09

I went and saw Everclear last night. It was awesome, really. I love the way a concert can make me feel. Which... sounds stupid, but I don't think I'm going to explain.

I will, however, say that I totally need to be going to more of those. Concerts, I mean.

But in more important news and matters: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LAURA!

This is usually the time when people would say things about how awesome you are and how you're always willing to listen and let me obsess with minor laughter and make me laugh and curb my run on sentences without making me ask and are a generally all around awesome person who might possibly deserve some alone time with Sam.

But since I'm just really not all that fond of you, I'll just say, again, Happy Birthday! And, I.O.U. 1 Semi-Decent ficcy birthday thing.